PLEASE TAZE ME BRO.

principal’s eyes. are watchin’ yoo. principal’s eyeeees. watchin’ yoo watchin’ you watchin’ yoo.

zahmeugua — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 22:06:41 +0000

you probably heard this story before.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gdwlE3DpcMD9gNAnFMrQ7iNHCS6AD9HLGPRO0

school provides laptops to its students and includes surveillance software in case they get lost. later it is determined that they turned them on without students’ knowledge. i find the resolution to this tale most unsatisfying. the article glosses over some important facts, most notably:

“robbins maintains that he never reported his laptop missing or stolen, and doesn’t know why the district deployed the surveillance software on his computer.

they also refer to the tech lady who turned it on and was specified in the case as the turner onner:

“I would hope they take her back soon,” lawyer Charles Mandracchia said Tuesday. “She’s one of the few people that said we needed to establish a policy. And it kind of fell on deaf ears.”

mind you they’ve neglected to mention testimony that she loved listening and watching the students. and that the school never told students about the surveillance equipment and lied when they got busted.

http://boingboing.net/2010/02/17/school-used-student.html

terribler and terribler

zahmeugua — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 20:50:14 +0000

all puns and shitty jokes aside, this just happened in america.

http://www.courthousenews.com/2010/06/24/28330.htm

can i be a total asshole for a second?

zahmeugua — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 17:07:09 +0000

hey,

i know this is pretty piss pot poor, taste and sensibility wise, but can i just say a big “fuck you you piece of shit, I am glad you’re getting divorced and i hope you have adjustment problems” to tipper and al gore? next to the pat robertsons of the world, your PMRC clown posse hemmed, hawed, squawked, and promulgated that family values bullshit more than any. add the obviously orchestrated PDA to distance yourself from your philandering boss during the elections and you bet i’m gonna be glad you’re getting a divorce, pray it’s not amicable, and hope a little bit that your pussy explodes too. i’m sure the fact that divorce isn’t accepted by your god was outweighed by something really important you vile hypocrites.

tase me out at the ballgame

zahmeugua — Tue, 04 May 2010 18:18:51 +0000

more interesting than this story (and the sport of baseball) are the comments of readers. though i guess i shouldn’t be complaining about those who get their news from comcast.net….

http://www.comcast.net/sports/writethatdown/4631/philliesfangetsshocktohissystem/

getting younger every year.

zahmeugua — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 09:43:46 +0000

10 year old this time. they say he “might be a problem child”. the kid, not the cop.

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/23017669/detail.html

allow myself to arrest…myself.

zahmeugua — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 15:17:56 +0000

cops in seattle decided that they should arrest a person for speeding rather than give her a ticket. when she refused to get out of the car for this arguably controversial request, they tased her three times. what did her unborn baby have to say about this? we can ask it in a few months!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2010/03/26/national/a132443D69.DTL

in all seriousness, these stories would make more sense if they ended with the cops having a moment of clarity and arresting themselves.

there are limits to….human judgment.

zahmeugua — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 17:52:25 +0000

Alien/ Predator hybrid Judge Sarah Sheldon Esperanza and basically anybody involved in any of the incidents posted on this website, should note that the US supreme court has slightly different standards for taser use.

“In an earlier case, the US Supreme Court said three factors determine “government interest”: the severity of the crime, whether the suspect posed a serious threat to officer safety, and whether the suspect was evading or resisting arrest”.

http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Justice/2009/1230/Federal-court-in-California-limits-police-use-of-Tasers

aww, she got a tasey wasey.

zahmeugua — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:36:22 +0000

10 year old girl harrumphs at the prospect of taking a shower. mom calls cops. cops tase girl. uh…seriously people this shit’s getting retarded. speaking of which, i assume we should tase retards too, what with their inability to follow instructions and their superhuman strength.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/6602043/Taser-gun-used-on-10-year-old-girl-who-refused-to-take-shower.html

trendsetterer

zahmeugua — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 05:59:40 +0000

despite our total weirdedoutness by his right ear, we give stephen colbert credit for jumping on our bandwagon. he now has a semi-regular piece that covers ludicrous taser incidents. we can only assume he is the one hit this website gets every 3-16 weeks.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/239942/july-27-2009/current-events—tasers

i’ll bite your legs off!

zahmeugua — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:26:17 +0000

long article about a call regarding a domestic violence dispute wherein cops had no choice but to tase a paraplegic man.

wait what?!

http://www.mercedsunstar.com/167/story/1068479.html