principal’s eyes. are watchin’ yoo. principal’s eyeeees. watchin’ yoo watchin’ you watchin’ yoo.

August 18, 2010

you probably heard this story before.

school provides laptops to its students and includes surveillance software in case they get lost.  later it is determined that they turned them on without students’ knowledge.  i find the resolution to this tale most unsatisfying.  the article glosses over some important facts, most notably:

“robbins maintains that he never reported his laptop missing or stolen, and doesn’t know why the district deployed the surveillance software on his computer.

they also refer to the tech lady who turned it on  and was specified in the case as the turner onner:

“I would hope they take her back soon,” lawyer Charles Mandracchia said Tuesday. “She’s one of the few people that said we needed to establish a policy. And it kind of fell on deaf ears.”

mind you they’ve neglected to mention testimony that she loved listening and watching the students. and that the school never told students  about the surveillance equipment and lied when they got busted.


terribler and terribler

June 25, 2010

all puns and shitty jokes aside, this just happened in america.

can i be a total asshole for a second?

June 7, 2010


i know this is pretty piss pot poor, taste and sensibility wise, but can i just say a big  “fuck you you piece of shit, I am glad you’re getting divorced and i hope you have adjustment problems” to tipper and al gore?  next to the pat robertsons of the world, your PMRC clown posse hemmed, hawed, squawked, and promulgated that family values bullshit more than any. add the obviously orchestrated PDA to distance yourself from your philandering boss during the elections and you bet  i’m gonna be glad you’re getting a divorce, pray it’s not amicable, and hope a little bit that your pussy explodes too. i’m sure the fact that divorce isn’t accepted by your god was outweighed by something really important you vile hypocrites.

tase me out at the ballgame

May 4, 2010

more interesting than this story (and the sport of baseball) are the comments of readers.  though i guess i shouldn’t be complaining about those who get their news from….

getting younger every year.

April 3, 2010

10 year old this time. they say he “might be a problem child”.  the kid, not the cop.

allow myself to arrest…myself.

March 30, 2010

cops in seattle decided that they should arrest a person for speeding rather than give her a ticket. when she refused to get out of the car for this arguably controversial request, they tased her three times.  what did her unborn baby have to say about this?  we can ask it in a few months!

in all seriousness, these stories would make more sense if they ended with the cops having a moment of clarity and arresting themselves.

there are limits to….human judgment.

December 31, 2009

Alien/ Predator hybrid Judge Sarah Sheldon Esperanza and basically anybody involved in any of the incidents posted on this website, should note that the US supreme court has slightly different standards for taser use.

“In an earlier case, the US Supreme Court said three factors determine “government interest”:  the severity of the crime, whether the suspect posed a serious threat to officer safety, and whether the suspect was evading or resisting arrest”.

aww, she got a tasey wasey.

November 20, 2009

10 year old girl harrumphs at the prospect of taking a shower. mom calls cops. cops tase girl.  uh…seriously people this shit’s getting retarded. speaking of which, i assume we should tase retards too, what with their inability to follow instructions and their superhuman strength.


September 29, 2009

despite our total weirdedoutness by his right ear, we give stephen colbert credit for jumping on our bandwagon. he now has a semi-regular piece that covers ludicrous taser incidents.  we can only assume he is the one hit this website gets every 3-16 weeks.—tasers

i’ll bite your legs off!

September 23, 2009

long article about a call regarding a domestic violence dispute wherein cops had no choice but to tase a paraplegic man.

wait what?!